April 18, 2012

Random Afternoon Question - Funny Version?...

... perhaps not. You be the judge...

Today's question is courtesy of hubby via one of his forums:

THE ZOMBIES ARE HERE!!! Quick, look to your left and pick up 3 things to defend yourself. What are they are how do you plan to use them???

This is the cutest zombie I could find. Everything else looked so ugly.
Yes, I know having a pretty zombie would be akin to 
having
vampires that 'twinkle' in the sunlight, but still... ROFLMAO!!!!

I have a crunched up piece of paper and some sheets held together by a paperclip. TWO THINGS??? TWO THINGS???

Ok, ok, calm down... I suppose I could tear up the paper and ball them up into little missiles and fashion the paperclip into some kinda slingshot. Nope, no can do... can't do a slingshot without a rubberband... drats.

Ok, skinny, puny arm.... start flicking those paper balls and AIM FOR THE BRAINS!!!!!

26 comments :

Heli said...

That zombie looks like the ones in the Plants vs. Zombies computer game! (It's a great and very, very funny game by the way, I highly recommend it! Here's a link to it: http://www.bigfishgames.com/download-games/5449/plants-vs-zombies/index.html)

I'm sitting on the sofa using my laptop, so on my left I see a few sofa pillows: pillow fight! :D

Kate said...

I have a key, a mug of tea and a cable for my camera...I think I could scald them with the tea and bash them on the head with the mug, stick the key in their eye and strangle them with the cable! Wow! Its a good day to be me :)

Keebles said...

I've got a pair of scissors, a pen and an electric stapler...The scissors would be great for eyeball plucking or brain bashing, but then again, you'd have to get pretty close and avoid being bitten, so a bit of skill might be involved). The pen could also be used for stabbing if the skin is soft, but since zombies typically have dead dry skin, which is like shoe leather, so the pen wouldn't be much help although it could still be used for blinding purposes(can you tell I work in a path lab?). The electric stapler would only be for stunning so you could run and get away...if it were hinged, but this one is not, so once again, I'm left to defend myself with the scissors and hope for the best!

SoCal Debbie said...

What a funny random question! I looked frantically to my left and the first thing I saw was the Albert Pujols bobblehead that I got at the Angels game last night. I could whack the zombie on the head with it, then pour a dish of cat food down his throat so hopefully he will choke and gag on it. To finish him off, I could try poking his eyes out with my little stork scissors!

nikkin said...

Whoopie! I have a German Shepherd, my cell phone, and my camera...so I can snap photos to put on my blog while my doggie mauls him, and use my phone to post all about it on Facebook!

/giggles,
Nikki

Shannon said...

What a fun question LOL!!! To my left I have a bunch of floss, my kindle usb cord and a bookshelf full of books. I can start knocking out the zombies by whipping books at their heads. Then I can tie them up with my floss. Then strangle them with my kindle cable. :D

McKenna C. said...

Whooo hooo! I have a pair of scissors and a stapler to my left! Zombies BEWARE MY WRATH!!!! XP

~McKenna

Blu said...

Two small religious figurines and a small flashlight. Clearly my only option is to pray like it's going out of style and use my baby flashlight to light the way as I sneak out the back leaving the rest of the family to confront the zombies!

Anne said...

LOL!! Luckily on my left is my sewing desk and I spotted my scissors, although they are really tiny. So my big amber frog, my scissors and Jane Philpott. Not sure what I would do with Jane, maybe take the qsnaps off and jab them in the eyes or somethin?!!!

lynda said...

I have a hot cup of tea to pour on his head, floss to tie his wrists and feet and needles to stick in his green cheeks!

Veronica said...

ROFL! You think up the darnest things, Joyce. Well, I'm at the office so luckily I have a variety of weapons to choose from. There's a huge stapler to hit it on the head, my mug with steaming tea to pour over it and a pair of scissors although blunt, could be used to stick into its eyes? XD

Hugs,
Veronica.

Mouse said...

ohhh dear I@ve got my cuppa (as always ) my camera ... could always say cheese blind them with the flash and hobble quickly upstairs ...lol and my phone to phone you hahahaha
love mouse xxxxx

lily said...

All the above comments are truly hilarious........right-oh, I have my very large set of headphones......some knicker elastic (don't ask) and a set of felt tip pens.........I could sling the headphones over his ears and play my recording of whale music at it's loudest settings........that should confuse him for a bit and give me time to take cover behind second best sofa, where I could make a sling shot out of the knicker elastic and catapault felt tip pens at him from my hiding place..............I'm thinking this would only buy me time though, so really I'm done for!

lily x

Mireille said...

:-), i am at the office so I also have much weapons. But I am in a Security room so they can't come in :-)

Hugs,
Mireille

milly said...

Great post!
I've got a cup of hot tea which I could through into his face to confuse him. the TV controller which I could batter him with til he falls to the floor and a cushion that once he's down I can hold over his face and smother him!

Karen said...

Oh, that's easy for me! I have a couple of screwdrivers and a large hole-puncher thingie called a Crop-a-dile, quite heavy, good for brain bashing. Um, what else? I have a bottle of spray starch. Maybe if I spray him it will stiffen his already dry and shrunken skin, and he won't be able to move. I guess that's when the brain-mashing and screwdriver-stabbing begins.

Kaisievic said...

Hmmmm, I have a pair of embroidery scissors, a kindle and a used teabag! So I can cover their eyes with the teabag, tame them by reading from the kindle and then stab them with the scissors!

hugs, Kaye xoxox

Kielrain said...

oooh. To my left I have a stack of books. oh yes. Toss books for brain bashings that works. I also have thread. hmmm... I could tie it down somewhere low and trip the zombies. (I am going with slow zombies here, not the really scary fast ones) I also have a basket.... wow, hmm. let's see... I use it to bash them after the thread has tripped them. Yes!

Jan said...

I commando roll onto the floor and confuse the zombie using the sunlight reflecting off my watch. Meanwhile I scoop out loads of Vaseline onto the floor and bash him senseless with my empty mug once he has slipped over. It will work a treat!

Jan said...

I commando roll onto the floor and confuse the zombie using the sunlight reflecting off my watch. Meanwhile I scoop out loads of Vaseline onto the floor and bash him senseless with my empty mug once he has slipped over. It will work a treat!

Lija said...

A glass vase from an ex, definitely would give a good bash over the head. Paintbrushes dipped in White spirit for poking. And a window to jump from a third floor if all else fails.

Tazzy said...

*laughs* for that zombie, I suggest a sunflower, a few pea shooters, and maybe a potatoe mine....

As for what I have immediately to my left.... *whines* I don't wanna throw my plastic file box at the zombie! it has my cross stitch patterns in it!

Now the trash can I could definitely hunk at it after setting it afire.....

Reaper said...

Hmmm, well I seem to have a small portable lamp, a tiny flower pot and a notebook. The first two items I could chuck at the zombies' heads (the flower pot only once I feel) and maybe reel the lamp back in by the cord. I guess I'll use the notebook to record how successful I am at this (or as a memoir haha!).

Joyce, you could straighten out the paper clip and use it to stab zombies in the temple. You'd have to get pretty close to them obviously, but it's a thought :-).

Susan said...

I have a phone, my Kindle Fire and The Hub (ohhhh this is too easy!!) I could use the Fire to see how any of these things could help. Call the sheriff on the phone as they have guns (assuming none of them are zombies and you're not letting me go into the bedroom and actually get the gun) and if all that fails push The Hubs in front of me (who says chivelry is dead?) and run like heck! I'll miss him, but I do have a child to look after (okay he's 29 but still...)

♥ Nia said...

I would turn to the left and... RUN! Far, far away hahahahahahah or hide behind Rui :p LOL

Mangogirl said...

mmm yeah I have a laptop and a mouse and a pillow ... I don't think I'm going to do much.