Bye, pa


Ezra Loke
Beloved husband and father
November 30, 1940 - May 11, 2015

What do I say about my dad? How do I compress a lifetime of thoughts and feelings into just a few minutes? I’m afraid that hard as I try, I will come up short.

My earliest story about him was the fact that he took time off to wait for my birth, but the stubborn girl I was, I waited till he absolutely had to go to a meeting outstation before making my appearance. As mom tells it, his first question on the phone call wasn’t if I was a girl or boy. That didn’t matter to him at all. Nope… what mattered was that I had 10 fingers and 10 toes and most importantly, he wanted to know if I had his nose.

While he wasn’t always available, due in part to pastoring churches outstation, I had no wants. I've thought on this subject for quite a while and I can’t come up with an instance where he’s ever said no to me. It could be something as simple as mentioning about trying my hand at getting Computer certification… this was trying, mind you, just to see if I’d like it, or something bigger like buying a laptop, or going to school in the US, or putting a down payment on a car, his response was always the same. “OK, do it!” It didn’t matter the cost, it was always, “OK, do it."

Dad loved us above all, but as a product of his generation, he was very reserved. One of the funniest moments was when I said “love you” to him over the phone. His response? “Thank you.” I told mom later that that was the weirdest response ever and boy, was I shocked and surprised when the next time I said “love you” he said, “love you too.” This was years and years ago, and has been our ritual to end phone calls ever since. The last 2 visits to the US, he teared up each time before leaving. Those tears broke my heart more than anything else has ever done… till now.

One of my most cherished memories was him staying up past 11pm the first time I went out with a group of friends as a teenager. Dad was an early bird, you see, and that meant that he was always in bed by 9pm, but that night and the night before I got married, were the 2 nights he didn’t keep to his schedule. I remember asking him why he was still up the night before my wedding, and he said “yow tit mm se tuk” (a little hard to let go). I had teased him about how he shouldn’t be since after the wedding his son-in-law would be staying in his house for another week instead of his daughter leaving.

Dad was always cool and collected, even in the face of imminent danger as scary as Disneyworld rollercoaster rides. His was always the only peaceful face on the pictures captured by the ride cameras. He was a pillar of strength with a spine of steel. There was nothing he couldn’t do once he’s set his mind to it. With stage 4 cancer that had invaded his prostate, bones, spinal cord, lungs, and brain, he was still driving outstation for sermons and carrying boxes of books… God’s work was that important to him.

I am the person I am today because of dad and mom. They taught me to have faith that surpasses all understanding to always rely on God as my refuge and strength.

Dad carried my graduation picture in his wallet. Mom used to tease him that it was the only girl’s picture he ever carried in his wallet. I know he was proud of me and I’m proud of him. I’m proud to be his daughter and I will miss him terribly.

Bye for now, pa. Till I see you again, “love you."

Comments

Z said…
{hugs} I'm sorry for your loss.
Karen said…
I'm sorry for your loss, Joyce. {{{hugs}}}
Daffycat said…
My heart is breaking for you, sweetie. I am so sorry. I can only imagine your grief and loss. Your father sounds like an outstanding example of manhood and I'm sure he will be greatly missed.
Blu said…
I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing person.
DebbieSFL said…
Joyce, I am sorry for your loss. Your memories are wonderful and will help as time goes by.....consider yourself hugged.
Minnie said…
I am so sorry for your loss. Continue to let your loving memories give you peace.
I'm so sorry for your loss Joyce. That was a beautiful memorial.
Deb said…
A beautiful tribute. Keep your memories close and in your heart.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Joyce. Sending hugs and healing thoughts to you and your family.
Kristy said…
What a wonderful tribute to your father..I am so very sorry for your loss..warm thoughts and prayers with you and your family.
katica said…
Sincere condolences to you and your family
Kate N said…
Hey Joyce, I'm sorry to hear of your loss, my heart goes out to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. This post is a wonderful memorial to the man your dad was and, in your heart, always will be. Sending hugs and strength to you and your family.
Allie said…
I am so, so sorry hon - he sounds like an amazing man, one I wish I'd known. Praying for you and your family...
Lesley said…
Beautiful writing about your dad who you so obviously adore.I am so sad for your loss Joyce,you and your family,
Angie said…
Beautiful sharing about you dad. So sorry for your loss.
Katie said…
What beautiful words you have wrote. Big Hugs!
Isabelle said…
Oh my dear Joyce, I am so sorry for your loos. I know how your loved your Dad and the words you wrote for him, for your family are very beautiful.
Sending you warm hugs,
Isa
Keebles said…
What an amazing man...words cannot express how sorry I am for you and your family. You will be in our thoughts!
pandy said…
That was so beautiful to read, thank you for sharing such wonderful memories. I am so sorry for your loss.
Touching tribute. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Mouse said…
(((huge hugs))) love mouse xxxx
Your words are a beautiful expression of your love and respect for a man I can only wish I'd had the privilege of knowing.
So sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds like an amazing man and he is obviously a big influence on your character.
You have written a beautiful eulogy for him, he would be proud.
Kaisievic said…
Joysze, I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your Dad. However, I can hear the great love your bore for each other in your "voice" and I know that you are grateful for the wonderful time that you had together. At least he is not in pain now and you can have great comfort that you will meet again one day. Such a beautiful eulogy. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family, my dear friend. hugs, Kaye xoxoxox
Angela P said…
I am so sorry for your loss.
Bea said…
Joyce, I'm so sorry to hear of your father's passing. What a beautiful tribute to an obviously very special man. Hold those memories close. Lots of hugs!
diamondc said…
Joyce: I am so sad for your loss, I hope you all are healing and remember you will have him in your memories.

Blessings
Catherine
Anne said…
OHHHH my dear Joyce. I'm so sorry to hear about your dearest papa. He is with God now and I know that is a comfort to you and your mother even though the pain is going to be with you for awhile. He was an amazing man and inspiration to you I can tell. Sending you big hugs to you my dear xoxoxoxoxox Annie
I was so sad to read this beautiful tribute to your Dad, my heart goes out to you Joyce x
I'm so sorry honey! That was such a beautiful tribute to your dad that I was crying whilst reading it.

Your dad sounds like an earthbound Angel who has now found his wings to fly to heaven.

It is a testament to what a great father he was as you are such an amazing person. He obviously has a great influence on you. He will always be in your heart. And you will be in my prayers.

Take care beautiful.
xo Alicia
Miamina said…
I am so sorry for your loss. That was a beautifully written piece that I am sure was very difficult to do.

Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family.

Love and hugs, Angie xxx

Thoeria said…
I am so very sorry for your loss Joyce. A beautifully written tribute to what sounds like a wonderful, strong silent man. You are in my thoughts x
Jan said…
What a wonderful tribute to your father. I lost my dad in February and I know this is a difficult time for you. My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family.
Marcy said…
Very sorry for your loss ... he sounds like a wonderful dad.
Terri said…
Oh Joyce, I am so sorry for your loss! My dad passed away 4 years ago this month, and it still seems like yesterday. Hugs and prayers!
rosey175 said…
o no, I am so sorry to hear of this. You've written a lovely tribute to him. Warm and fuzzy feelings your way. ♥
Julie said…
A very warm and wonderful tribute to your father. {hugs} x
Faith... said…
So sorry for your loss, keeping you in my thoughts.
Carol said…
So very sorry for your loss.
Stitching Noni said…
I am so sorry to hear of your loss... my deepest sympathy to your and your family
Hugs xx
anastich said…
Joyce I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet father. He really seemed like a wonderful man, father, and pastor. I hope you are doing okay and know that it will get easier as time goes on.
Hugs, Ana
Veronica Ong said…
Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}
valerie said…
I'm so sorry Joysze! It sounds like he was a wonderful man and father. So glad you have so many fond memories. *hugs*
CJ said…
I am sorry for your loss.

Popular Posts